Saturday, December 12, 2015


Currently listening to:
If you watch this video until the end, it's pretty hilarious.

This time of year I get sentimental.  I suppose we all do.  I moved to Los Angeles the weekend after Thanksgiving 2004.  I spent Christmas with strangers and I lived in the part of town where the sounds of gunshots rang randomly in the night and that rang in my alley that evening.

I think of that night and I think of where I am now.  My former view of downtown L.A. on Jefferson, between Crenshaw and Arlington, across the street from the library.  Back then, it was pretty hood.  I had a dog so I got to know the people of the neighborhood.  I was the only white girl.  In that year I met a woman who had no shoes and was walking down this alley and I gave her my hiking shoes.  I met a crackhead and gave her weed so she could settle down.  I worked a job as a bottle service waitress in Hollywood.  It was an awkward adventure.

Now I'm here.  I'm a mom.  I live in the suburbs.  While not the seedy sexy heartbeat L.A., it's still alright.  Sometimes I miss the cool evenings after staying out late with a friend, getting in my convertible mustang and driving over Laurel Canyon in the fog while the floor heaters are on.  I rarely miss the nights when I would have to unlock the parking gate at my apartment on Jefferson.

As I reflect on the things I have, I'm still grateful for the experiences I have had.  While it may mean I'm probably behind where I should be financially, I have had enough eye opening experiences that I have been changed forever.

I believe in peace.  I believe in people.  I believe there are billions of people on this planet and we have to figure out how to live together.  We have to figure out how to share.  We all have to figure out how to share or we haven't evolved.  I think we have evolved and there is an underlying pulse that knows things can be better with each other.

As I watch Cora grow I am happy I experienced the things I did.  I hope to create a world in which she will be safe.