Monday, November 18, 2013

Pregnant Brain

68 days until baby is due.

Pregnant Brain


Pregnant brain is officially in full effect.  I have always had a dingy side but now I'm a full blown space cadet.  Yesterday, I couldn't find my wedding ring and panicked.  I asked my husband to help me.  It was in the same spot I always put it, I just couldn't see it for some reason.   I booked work for myself on Tuesday, then realized I had a doctor's appointment that day.  No big deal so I cancelled.  Well, then I went to the grocery store, got all the way inside and forgot my coupons so I just cut my trip short.  The final straw, and the decision to go back home and hide under the covers came when I bought my groceries, paid for them and then left them at the checkout.  I got all the way outside, happily pushing my empty cart when a young boy ran after me and told me I forgot my two bags.  I went inside and the cashier called me a crazy lady and asked why I left my bags.  I think I may have been too spacey to care about her attitude.  For all I know I may be nuts, most people in Los Angeles are.  

Today was better, only I started nesting.  I have become like some kind of mythical kangaroo bird. (I  just created that in my mind).  I'm busy doing things I never would have dreamed I would be doing.  Reorganizing, cleaning, caring about light sockets.  I have once again had a look in the mirror aha moment where I asked myself...who are you right now?  and why did you put your keys in the refrigerator?  

Pixies - Where is my of my favorite songs that was then put into one of my all time favorite movies.  Enjoy!

The above song seems fitting once again.  I have always gone back to this throughout life since I discovered it in high school.  It is definitely fitting in my life once again.  I forget stuff and I think about some pretty weird topics as I'm falling asleep at night and then I'm led into some very strange dreams.  

Pregnancy brain is real.  I can attest to it.  If you google pregnancy brain you will see "myth" come up.  I think those articles had to be written by men.  It exists, pregnancy brain is living between my ears right now. 

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Stuff I Found

70 days until baby is due

Stuff I Found

Life is a wonderful learning experience.  Everyday you can pick up new stuff and with the advent of the internet, random entertainment that wasn't available to us before is now instantly at our fingertips.  Instead of doing my shameless daily self-reflection, I am now taking Saturdays to post my new finds!  Enjoy!!! 

 This week I got bored hanging out around the house pregnant so I decided to go to Sony Studios and watch a live taping of the Queen Latifah Show.  

Queen Latifah was the only celebrity I saw that day.  Apparently her guest at the morning taping was Lenny Kravitz.  Darn... missed that one!   She did have some extremely informative guests and she also gives out treats in her lounge outside the studio.  These treats were soooo good that I thought I would share them with you!  If they are unavailable in your grocery store I have ordering information on the links in my Amazon store located at the top of my page.  Here's what I learned from The Queen.

First up, Zico Coconut Water!  Ok, the truth is, I already knew about this great product.  I mean it is coconut and I'm kind of a nut for this stuff... pun intended.  Zico is delicious.  It is great for rehydration, so much better than artificial sports drink.  It's packed with potassium, has 5 electrolytes, 100% all natural and the bottles are BPA free and completely recyclable.   Even the caps are recyclable!  

The next thing I learned from The Queen was Brownie Brittle!  Oh.My.Gosh!!!!  This stuff is delicious.  It's a perfect snack for a preggo and it would be great for holiday party trays.   When I was a little girl my two brothers and I would fight over the corner piece.  They are big Oklahoma boys so I usually missed out but karma finally came my way and I got a whole beautiful bag of deliciousness!

During her show Queen Latifah also interviewed the Krazy Coupon Lady.   Ok, this lady is my new guru of groceries.  Watch this clip.  She's absolutely amazing!

The Krazy Coupon Lady.

When I learned how much I could be saving I found an instant sense of relief.  Honestly, I have been terrified of impending mommyhood because my biggest fear is how the heck am I going to afford this.  Krazy Coupon Lady showed me the way.  I look forward to making couponing a sport.  I don't care if the checkers cringe when they see me coming.  

Outside of Queen Latifah I also found a couple of videos on the internet.  Here they are...

I love Parkour.  I think these guys are amazing.

Danny and Annie.  The Sweetest Love Story.  Grab a Kleenex for this one.

So, those were some of the things I picked up this week.  I also opened up an online jewelry boutique, which you can find here.  I am in the process of opening up an Etsy shop for meditation, yoga, and natural products.  I will finally be selling my handcrafted candles, incense and jewelry.  I cannot wait to share them with you! 

Thank you for reading!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Got a little sad for a minute...or a week.

73 days until baby is due

Got A Little Sad For A Minute...Or A Week



It happens with me from time to time.  I set a goal, attempt it, get sidetracked, punish myself with guilt then either resume or fade away.  I am back to blogging and plan on continuing the path I set for myself.  I found that through this self-inquiry and my immersion back into reading great literature, I found some stuff I had buried deep inside that I just didn't want to face.  I miss my dog, I'm scared I'm going to be a lazy mom and I am also terrified of giving birth, breastfeeding and all things parenting in general.  I'm lucky my husband is competent and is to be my rock on this part of the journey.  

I fell into a helpless haze of feeling like my life was on pause while I grow a baby.  I guess it was a little.  I had placenta previa and the knowledge of how life threatening that is wasn't lost on me.  I was scared and when the doctor told me it had migrated on its own, I was incredibly relieved.  

I'm looking at the number up top.  73 days.  73 days until I meet my daughter.  I'm having a daughter.  I can't believe it.  My solo adventures of my avant-garde lifestyle are over.  But I have every intention of including her on my journey.  For awhile I think I thought I had to give up being me, being the strange, awkward, funny, confused, occasionally and accidentally sexy woman I am.  Somehow I wanted to fit into an image of a Tulsa mom that I just wasn't meant to be.  If I was, I wonder if my husband would have found the job in southern California and openly jumped into my weird life.  I think if I was meant to be that, I would have ended up in Tulsa, he would have found a petroleum job right away and we could have found a cute little place on Cherry Street and I would have been able to see my parents often.  That dream isn't lost but it doesn't seem to be coming to fruition right now, and sometimes I find myself lost in the sadness of that.  Lost in the sadness of being trapped in Los Angeles.

I keep reading that God puts us where we are supposed to be and I was told by both my parents and my yoga teacher that your children choose you.  I really can't help but wonder what little Cora saw in me to pick me as her mom, but when I do think about her arrival, the sadness dissipates and I am left standing in a perpetual state of happiness and hope, anxiously awaiting for her entrance into this world and floating on faith until we meet.  

Friday, November 8, 2013

Pain I Can Handle - It's Tenderness That Makes Me Come Undone

78 Days until baby is due

Pain I Can Handle - It's Tenderness That Makes Me Come Undone


I am nearing the end of my first pregnancy.  Sometimes this feels like this may be the longest part, then I look at the countdown days and realize it's almost over.  I went to a job interview for any temp positions available and in the interview I realized everything I had done in my adult life.  The interviewer was a little shocked by my experience but I had to explain to her that so much of what I have done doesn't fit on a resume.  As an actor struggling to stay afloat and learn my craft and compete in the big bad city of LA, I have had to take some pretty weird jobs. 

I drove a lunch truck for 3 weeks.  I drove for a bakery delivery company for a month and a half.  I helped my ex-boyfriend cook lunch for 150 people in a production company for 3 weeks.  I have worked at HBO, a film distribution company and worked as a promo model for GM, Jameson, Miller Beer and countless other products.  I have worked as  bartender, cook, executive assistant, event manager and tradeshow model.  I have been in the slums of employment to the most lavish of offices.  
I have done all this but I have never been a mother.  I have taken the pain that comes with choosing an alternative career choice.  I chose a lifestyle that never opened up room for a kid.   Now I have to face the tenderness that I imagine will come when I meet the new life growing inside of me.  I have faced every day of insecurity with both fear and courage because ultimately I have known exactly where it will lead.  I have no idea where this current path will take me, I can't even imagine.  

She has grown to the point of kicking me sharply in my ribs.  I know she's fighting for room to grow and when she gets out that she will grow for the rest of my life that I know her.  I know I have turned into someone who only wants to talk about her, I somehow want to be Martha Stewart and build ginger cookie villages while decorating the house with pinecones I find outside.  I respect that I am not that but I do have the tenderness to love her and keep her safer than I was able to keep myself.  I went to grad school at the school of hard knocks.  People say that, but I know I have lived that.  I just cannot wait to see what she teaches me as I embark on the greatest, most confusing job of my life.   The journey of Mom.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

There's a lot of Grey Area Between the Black and the White

80 days until baby is due

There's a Lot of Grey Area Between the Black and the White

Going into this pregnancy I really didn't have much in terms of expectations.  Not much besides the fact that I was going to do everything right.  I was going to eat the perfect portions of the perfect diet and do prenatal yoga everyday while maintaining an awesome beauty routine, continue bartending and going to my acting classes and push this baby out without any meds.

Well...things aren't really going as planned.  In the first trimester I lost my 16 year old dog.  She died of old age, and trying to be a happy newlywed uber excited mommy to be just didn't happen.  I found myself barely able to get out of bed and if I didn't have to work, I sometimes didn't get out of bed for the first two weeks after she died.  She got me through my 20s and most of my 30s.  Now she was gone and I was left alone with a new husband and a baby on the way.  I was eventually able to see past the loss and observe the beauty in my life but it took a lot of patience on my husband's part and a ton of tearful meditation and God searching with questions of where did she go? Why did she leave now just when everything was getting good?

Last beach photo taken in Malibu 2 weeks before she left me.

Losing her left me in a very grey area.  I was stuck somewhere between happy and devastated.  My baby is coming soon and I am beyond excited but I still miss Bailey more than I could ever explain.

When I could finally eat again, after the constant nausea and inability to eat due to the loss of my best furry friend, I found I was drawn to horrible things.  I enjoyed the breakfast drive thru line at McDonalds more than I would like to admit.  I may have lived off egg and cheese biscuits 3 times a week for the first trimester.  Sometimes that's what it took to get me out of bed in the morning, the promise that if I got up, I could chow down on that incredibly guilty pleasure.  Before that I had mostly dined on CSA deliveries and vegetarian cuisine.  In times of vegetarian laziness I became what is called a pastatarian.  That's when you just eat noodles and sauce.  But getting back to the pregnancy diet, I finally was able to pull myself up and eat things like roasted beets, veggie burgers, lentil soup, risotto and all the other foods I enjoyed.  But I lived in that grey area of survival for the first trimester.

I tried to keep the bartending job and continue with acting class.  The restaurant where I was working was one of those horrible corporate chains located in The Grove.  It wasn't very busy and for awhile it wasn't a bad place to work, then, new management came in and ruined what could have been a good thing.  I actually take pride in reading their horrible yelp reviews.  I tried taking an improv class as well.  In this time I realized I was just too tired to continue keeping up with the hustle of an acting career.  I had moved into a grey area of insecurity and I am still floating there until the baby comes.  

Finally, the birthing process.  I have spoken to a few people about this.  I don't know what to expect.  I told my mom I wanted to do it naturally with no pain meds and she laughed at me.  Of course the men I have met say there is no other way besides natural and I'm cheating my baby of a sober mommy if I choose to do the epidural...glad they have a clue of what childbirth feels like.  I know that meds during birth is a hot topic and I have no idea how my birth will go.  I'm open for anything but I also respect science and if need be, I have every intention of using it.  Once again, grey area, there is no right or wrong, no black or white when it comes to childbirth.

So, I will hover in the middle of the grey area of all of my issues I suppose, trying to find the balance between the black and the white. 

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Keeping the Demons at Bay and the Goodie Two Shoes from Taking Over

  81 days until baby is due

Keeping the Demons at Bay and the Goodie Two Shoes from Taking Over

Life is such a balancing act isn't it?  One minute I was single, childless and relatively fine then barely a year later I am married, baby on the way, over the moon in love and exquisitely happy.  I was wearing black and slinking around the late night streets of Hollywood, now I'm delightedly wearing colors and skipping through the suburbs, aka Woodland Hills.  As much as I love domestic life, I still miss the darkness of my art.  That's the part of acting I enjoy.

I know, after the baby comes and my body heals, I can go back to earning my yoga teaching certificate and throwing myself back into the acting community.  But I need to learn to find the balance between dark and light.  

The trend for the past few years in LA has been the thriving actor.  The focus has shifted to marketing as opposed to just getting really good at your craft.  In this era I have found myself walking the fine line of demon and goodie two shoes.  One thing that has been wonderful about this pregnancy is that I have been able to take a step back and see where I was taking the wrong steps.  I worked more, when I focused on the work.  When I started to focus more on the marketing, I began to neglect the  necessary training in hopes of getting more paid work.  

I learned how to meditate from the great Betty Buckley.  It was in that time that I began to focus on and absorb Shakespeare, Mamet and the art of Zen maintenance.  I go back and forth but I find it hard to maintain that focus when the whisper on everyone's lips seems to be, thriving artist, money, agent and residuals.  I miss the art!!!

 Betty Buckley

William Shakespeare

Jeremy Piven as Ari Gold
Why I forgot about my art.

The focus on the idea that the bottom two photos represent led me away from my art.  Now I feel the need to focus on the bottom due to the fact that I am bringing a little girl into the world!  How do I find the balance?  I want to be well read again!  I want poetry to drip from my lips and beautiful words to fill up my soul.  But I also want to book things so I can give my daughter the life my parents were able to give me.

It's strange to be treated with delicacy after living so harsh for so long.  I know at first glance I look like a sweet mom to be, but the demons at bay want to scream out, I have been through things, I'm pregnant at 37... I'm no angel.  But then the goodie two shoes remembers the little girl beauty queen dreams and I may actually enjoy the eggshells under everyone elses feet. 

My former acting coach told me I would find that balance was my biggest lesson in this life.  I have always wanted to maintain some sort of equality in my daily life and I have found myself to be horrible at it.  Everyone has their lesson.  Physically my balance is exquisite.  The balance beam was my favorite event growing up in gymnastics.  Learning to apply that in the real world has been a challenge for me. 

Perhaps I can review the lessons of balance as a gymnast as I navigate the tricky water of being a mom, a wife and an artist.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Handle With Care

82 days until baby is due

Handle With Care

Since I found out about baby Cora I have felt the need to handle myself with care and the little baby growing inside of me.  Then came the announcement of my placenta previa and I realized how much care we actually needed.  I'm happy to announce, after a visit to the doctor today, that the placenta has moved on its own and I am no longer at risk.  I'm still at risk because of my age but at least I know I'm okay when it comes to this.  I am borderline anemic but I can fix that by adding the right food to my diet.

I was able to view my little girl today.  She's shy every single time we do an ultrasound.   First time I tried to see her she turned her butt to the camera.  When we were trying to determine the sex, she kept her legs crossed and when she turned she tucked her head between her legs and made it hard for us to see who she was.  Today we tried to see her face and she threw an arm up as if she was blocking herself from the paparazzi.  She kicks and punches like an MMA fighter so I really don't know what to expect when she finally arrives.  I do know that I will love her and handle her with the utmost care.  

I do have a couple of photos to share from today's visit...

This one freaked me out.  It looks like her shirt is pregnant.

 The prettiest face I have ever seen.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

One Ripe Pear

83 days until my due date!

One Ripe Pear

The Story of an Old Pregnant Woman

Sometimes I feel like I have been duped.  I listened to people when they said to chase after my career first and have kids later.  They said get established and then have one or two.  I followed their advice but I took the career path of an actress/model.  At a certain age, the modeling jobs disappeared and I turned into actress/bartender.  These jobs require me to look a certain way, so kids just never factored in.  Then I met my husband, right before I turned 36.  Now I'm 37, pregnant, have placenta previa, probably because I'm old, and I never quite established that career.  

I went from thinking looking like this and taking proud selfies...

To looking for stuff like this online...

I'm pretty sure I need to look like the top photo to continue bartending and auditioning in Hollywood, because I'm not sure how my career would fare breaking out the pumps during an audition or mid shift on Hollywood and Vine.

There is also a term for a woman my age having a baby.  It's called geriatric antepartum.  When my doctor told me this is what I was I almost fell off the exam table.  After years of lying about my age, I didn't quite know how to swallow that.  I asked if I needed a cane on my return visit or perhaps he could have a walker waiting for me at the door.  He didn't think that was funny.  I switched doctors.

The other side of it as an aging female in Hollywood, as if that isn't hard enough, is the weight gain.  I have written about this before, the back fat, now cellulite and ankle fat...who am I?  I was sitting on the bed looking at my reflection in the full length mirror and I couldn't help but notice my body was taking the shape of my future baby.  I think I look like a giant baby.

As for the weight, when I went in they asked me how much I weighed prior to the pregnancy.  I really couldn't answer that, after lying about my age and weight for years I was at a loss.  What did I weigh?  I always shaved off 10 pounds due to my large breasts and after awhile I was comfortable enough saying 118-120, no one ever questioned it.  I still am not sure of my previous weight.  

And now I'm pregnant and the bump is small.  I don't look like I'm in my 7th month.  In fact, I went into wardrobe a week ago and the costume designer said "hmmmm, let's see what we have to make you look more pregnant"

Hollywood's version of pregnant...

Here's a photo from The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Seriously?  How far along is she supposed to be?  She has a huge belly and no fat anywhere else.  Does this mean I should have just had that baby in high school?  Or do they think we just grow a massive belly and nothing else.  I usually joke that I am mostly pregnant in my boobs.

So the truth is, I am thrilled beyond belief to be carrying a baby.  I feel duped because no one told me it was so dangerous at my age.  No one told me about the risks of downs, miscarriage or previa.  I suppose I didn't ask either.  It's not like that really comes up in Hollywood conversation when we are all lying about our age and what year we graduated high school, honestly, I'm not even sure of half my friends professional name is different than my real name so it's all one big illusion.  So once again, I feel like Alice in the Looking Glass as a pregnant woman in Hollywood.  I can't work the jobs I always have and I'm afraid my skillset for office work is good, but nothing that can keep my attention for longer than 2 or 3 hours.  

So, this old ripe pear is going to ride out this pregnancy and enjoy every breakdown or over elated moment that comes my way.  Today I cried watching a 30 Seconds to Mars short film that I put up in one of my earlier posts.  I know a lot of this is normal, but I can't help wondering if I would be this exhausted and unmotivated if I weren't so damn "old."

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Cooking Corner - Spicy Cream Cheese Spread

Super Easy Spicy Cream Cheese Spread


                                         1.  Cream Cheese Block (small block pictured)
                                         2.  7-10 Olives (I take the pimentos out)
                                         3.  8-10 Jalepenos

Cut Jalepenos and Olives into little pieces.

Mix & Serve:
Great served over celery and vegetable crackers.

Photo Corner - Malibu Bird Watch

In keeping up with today's theme of the bird in the nest considers the sky, my husband and I headed to Malibu to take some bird photos.  I'm new at this but I had a great time!



 Great Egret


Gull (placed iphone on the lens of a telescope)

The Bird in the Nest Considers the Sky

84 days until my baby is due.

The Bird in the Nest Considers the Sky

Finding the Courage to Take Risks 



I have never been one to sit back and be told it can't be done.  But I have spent some time stuck in low self esteem, thinking I can't do what I used to do or I don't deserve to do what I dream.  Usually, when I'm at my lowest, is when I find the most strength inside to say...okay, let's go, even if it's just a whisper, I know when I have reached that point, it's only a matter of time before it turns into a roar.

Moving to Los Angeles was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.  From everything that fell into place leading up to my move and then the steps I took when I got here.  This is just a story of the move.  

When I made the decision to move I was working in an upscale seafood restaurant making just enough to cover my rent.  I was in a futile relationship and I didn't have any acting work whatsoever.  I knew I wanted to move, I knew I wanted to act, but I just didn't know how.  A friend handed me a copy of The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron, and the rest truly is history. 

I began doing the exercises in the book and I knew going in what I wanted.  I knew I wanted to get a day job, do some theater in the evening and any film projects I could on the weekends and come up with enough money to move to Los Angeles by the beginning of the following year.  It was June of 2004, I moved here in December of 2004.  Did I mention my car was in the shop with a blown out clutch and I didn't have the $500 to fix it?

I began to follow the steps in the book.  I figured, what did I have to lose?  As I rode the bus to my job since I couldn't afford to get my car out of the shop, I started to do morning pages and the exercises.  Within about 2 months, I got my car back, I had a day job in a finance company, I had booked the lead role of Lizzie in a play called The Rainmaker and I was cast in 2 low budget indies in Dallas.  By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I had flown to LA, put the deposit down on my new apartment in the getto, and by getto I mean it, I lived on Jefferson between Arlington & Crenshaw near USC, and I had rented a U-haul and was ready to go.  

It all happened so fast.  I had set my goals, focused on them and then the night before the move, I realized I didn't want to fly that far away from my nest.  So with bags packed, I sat in my little apartment and decided I would stay, take a job at a different finance company as their office manager and let go of my dreams.  They were too hard and I wasn't ready.

I enjoyed the romance I had created of reading Stella Adler and Uta Hagen in the laundry room on a fall day, imagining a life of acting and hustle, glitz and glam, dirt and starvation.  Imagination was great, but did I really deserve to follow my dream all the way out to the edge of the continent?  So far I had heard the worst...I would be gang raped by a group wearing colors, Koreans would eat my dog and I would be mugged by every passerby or led to a life of porn.  I could become a drug addict, end up overdosed with a life's potential never realized.  Yes, that was it, I was staying in Dallas.  

The next morning I told my friend Rose I was staying.  She simply said "no"  and starting loading the U-haul.  I followed her with my things but argued the entire time.  We loaded up what I had decided to take and unfortunately I left some things behind.  My dance shoes, undeveloped disposable cameras, I left my coats because I didn't think it got cold in LA.  Boy was I wrong on that one!  We layed my mattress in the back of the forerunner and Bailey the dog rode in style for a straight 24 hours.  We drove straight through, with a bit of a nap along the way.

That was the most terrifying drive I have made in my life  Driving into the unexpected, the unknown dangers that you see in the movies and on cop dramas, Rose led the way and I dutifully allowed her to take the wheel as I sat in my terror of the actuality of chasing my dream.  

We should all be so lucky to have a friend like that at really important times in our life.  I was a little bird afraid to fly from the nest but I really wanted to see what was up in the mysterious sky.  Thankfully she kicked me out of that Dallas nest.  Los Angeles isn't for everyone, but I sure am glad to be here.  I have been up and I have been desperately down, but through it all this city has turned out to be the sky I wanted to soar in my entire life.  

So take the plunge, follow your dreams!  It's never too late and you might surprise yourself.  I know I did.

Here are the books mentioned in my blog:

Friday, November 1, 2013

Peril of Pregnancy

Oh hot tub... how I miss you.

I understand that hot tubs are strictly forbidden.  I can't help but miss it.  I love that buttery feeling my body gets after I crawl out of the tub.  My husband says when the doctor clears it, I can return to my blissful bubbles of relaxation on cool California nights while he watches our little girl.  We will meet again dear hot tub, until then... I give you my feet.

NaBloPoMo November 2013

Courage is an action of the heart, Bravery is an action of the body

85 days until the baby is due!

This morning as many wake up from sugar comas or a night of binge drinking, there are others sleeping off a night of really hard work.  I'm talking about the firefighters, EMT's and Police Officers.  This blog is a huge thank you to those that keep us safe.

I awoke this morning to ambulance and fire trucks in my heavily populated neighborhood and as I was trying to relate the title of my blog to my own life, I realized, it belongs to those men and women who work daily to keep our streets safe.  

According to the Hollywood Patch, 75 people were arrested and 2 were shot on Hollywood Blvd last night.  That means the officers were extremely busy.  The Weho celebration went a lot smoother but emergency care was still needed as a reveler's costume did catch on fire.

Of course we all have our nasty police stories.  I have been pulled over for an expired tag, and I had forgotten to print my insurance so I got a ticket for that too.  Of course I was able to fix it all in court but it sucked and the cop was rude.  I was pulled over in Beverly Hills for a tail light that had burnt out and ordered to appear in court.  The judge apologized and said it should have been a fix it ticket but I still had to pay the court cost.  That cop was also a jerk.  But I have had many experiences where the police have responded and helped me.  I also have a brother who works as a firefighter and everyday I am so proud of him.
Today, as I write this, I have just learned that LAX has been shut down due to a fatal shooting.  A TSA agent has been reported dead and others have been reported injured.  The police and fire departments have responded and are doing their job of keeping the peace and helping all the stranded passengers move in groups to a safer destination.

I believe it takes courage and bravery to be a firefighter or an officer.  A couple of weeks ago my husband and I were awoken in the middle of the night, 2am to be exact by pounding on our front door.  Someone was outside screaming to be let in.  We didn't know this person.  I dialed 911, explained to the dispatcher what was happening and for the longest 5 minutes of our lives, Brian and I waited for someone to come and help us.  I was hidden, pregnant, scared and crouched near the closet as he stood at the door with a knife and we waited.  The police came, put the guy in handcuffs, and found that he was just drunk and had been dumped in the street by his friends for being a "douchbag."  They held him until his girlfriend came to pick him up.  Lucky girl.

I took this out of our window.  The plainclothes cops have the guy in the pink shirt in handcuffs.  He stood there and told them they were horrible people and called them every name in the book.  That night, they were my heroes.  I guess everyone has a different perspective on things.  

I had another positive experience with an officer when I was doing a promotion in front of the Jimmy Kimmel show on Hollywood Blvd for Dove Chocolate.  We had been costumed in brown satin robes with little bags of candy to pass out on the street.  We looked like a small religious cult and people actually didn't want our candy.  I can't blame them.  The officer told a girl and I to stand by him as this wasn't the safest area and he wanted to keep us safe.  As the girl and I talked about our Hollywood money troubles and our hopes that our checks would come in that day, he offered me money to take care of me through the weekend.  I said it was ok, he said he insisted and I didn't take the money but was blown away by his generosity.  He said he had a daughter and hoped someone would offer her the same.
My brother is a firefighter.  I know he has seen and experienced things that he will never talk about.  He has saved people and he has arrived at the scene when someone was past the point of help and he had to see and experience that.  He has raised 3 amazing daughters who have his courage and bravery as well.

 My brother, my superhero

We take the time to honor the fallen members of these amazing groups but today I want to take my little corner of the internet to honor those that have fallen and those that are still standing and fighting for us everyday.  Those men and women who wake up every morning to serve and protect us.  They wake up and do their jobs to the best of their abilities, admittedly, some have better abilities than others but there are crappy people in every profession and for the most part, I consider civic duty to be one of the most honorable professions.  They pull drunks off porches, step into domestic disputes, pull kittens from trees.  They rescue animals, elderly and children when we call on them for help.  They put out fires, get drunks off the streets, clear death from our view and protect us from other members of the human race that have literally lost their minds.  They run into buildings as everyone else is running out.  They do this and then they go home to their families to live as the rest of us do, as fathers and mothers, celebrating birth and death, holidays and everydays.  They are local heroes so if you get a chance, respect and thank an officer or fighter today.  They are the soldiers on our American soil keeping us safe and allowing us to live our lives protected.

NaBloPoMo November 2013